Mwahahaha..I bet you are intrigued.
So, I just wanted to emphasize how that we all have to own our own darkness, in a new age where so many only focus on the Light, it is also important to accept our own inner darkness, and to integrate all of our aspects.
I want to share my own experience today that isn’t filled with unicorns and butterflies, but it is just as valid in my journey.
This morning I awoke from a terrible dream where I had a dead bird (A cardinal) in my mouth. I could taste it, and feel it’s feathers in my mouth. It was disgusting for me, a vegan to have this experience of a dead animal in my mouth. I was so disgusted when I woke up from this, that I could barely get myself together to go back to sleep. My husband also had nightmares, and I felt we collectively were clearing a lot of negative, lower energies in our dream state.
On top of that, I had to cancel for the second time my chiropractic appointment, which I have been so desperately needing. This was due to weather, the first time I had to reschedule was because my son and I were sick. I actually flipped off the Universe when the snow started coming down in chunks, and I was extremely upset that I had to wait another week to get my adjustment. I was being selfish, only thinking about myself, and how much I needed to be realigned. I was in a sour mood for most of the morning. My husband came home early, messing up my normal routine, and I was annoyed at this. I finally calmed down and as my family left for a bit to go to the store, I turned on Gilmore Girls and settled into a calm space. I finally ask my guides “Why don’t you guys tell me when this shit is about to happen?” I’m annoyed I don’t ever receive early warnings, my guides allow me to get dressed, get ready, make plans, and then it falls through. I am extremely organized with my son’s schedule, and we have to be for many reasons. I have extreme discomfort when things get rearranged and I am forced to accept nature, and just flow with the universe. I am a creature of habit, and when things go sour I can take it pretty hard. I just wish my guides would tell me ahead of time. Like the time I got all ready to go to the library, got my son clicked into his carseat, and then the car wouldn’t start. I just wish I had the luxury of knowing things ahead of time. I know it’s all a part of the experience here on Earth, the unknown of the future is a part of the process. But it sucks sometimes, and even I get frustrated at my limited abilities in this realm. Like I said, I actually cursed the Universe today, flipping the whole Universe off as I sat waiting to reschedule my appointment. Many people think I am some sort of Angelic being that never has issues, or heartache. I assure you all I have had some very dark times, and when I tell people about my life, they tell me I should write a book. I don’t feel it is necessary to go back to my dark past, what’s done is done, and I am evolving everyday. I just want to share that Ascension isn’t always rainbows and light, sometimes it’s rough days that feel like set backs, but in reality it is a set up for something better. Maybe if I drove today I may have endangered myself and my child. I will never know all of the reasons, and I guess that is just a part of the journey. We can’t know it all, then there would be no reason to be incarnated. I am such a curious soul, I want to know it all, I want to learn and grow. It’s not always smooth sailing for me, and some days I actually ask my guides to just take me off of this planet. They assure me, I must stay, I must finish the job, but it’s not always fun for me. This post isn’t to bring you down, make you feel bad, it’s to show you that we all have bad days, it’s okay, and it’s normal, it’s a normal part of the Ascension process which is more of a spiral staircase than an elevator ride up to the 5th dimension. It flows like a roller coaster ride, and we have good days and bad.
I forgot to mention that later on today I had about 6 deer run across outside of my window, just out of the corner of my eyesight. This is a big sign for me to stay open hearted, to trust, and to listen to nature for the next move. The deer has always been my spirit animal, one of my favorite animals and they always show up when I need to remember the higher perception, and to use my intuitive abilities to navigate this lifetime.