Pain And Being Vulnerable

I’d like to share my experience and how I am choosing to deal with it in efforts to inspire others. I’ve recently injured my lower back and it has caused me great pain and sadness. I am a very active soul and enjoy hula hoop dancing and yoga and other physical activities. This has really hit me hard not being able to pick up my child, or to enjoy the things that make my heart sing. It is difficult for me to even sit comfortably and meditate. As a young mother I made a choice to get an epideral during childbirth, and that has been one choice that I have to live with the consequences everyday. I sometimes move just the wrong way and it sends pain throughout my lower back and I will be down and out for days at a time. I have never had these issues before giving birth and having the epideral. It is something very difficult to process for me and I try not to have guilt for many of my choices as a young uninformed mother. I am trying to focus on the positive and remain in love through this time. It is not easy to remain positive and loving when you are in pain. I’ve realized it takes a lot more effort to focus on the love and light when going through something that causes great suffering. It’s easy to be a fairy of love and light when everything is going your way and the universe is sending you magical experiences. But it takes a true courageous soul to continue their journey on the path of the light even when experiencing dark times. What has helped me personally, is to focus on the self love and nurturing that I deserve. I am a healer by nature and that is a large part of my soul purpose here. Healers sometimes get caught up in healing others that something like this will happen to really make them stop what they are doing and be forced to deal with the problem that has arised right away. For me this has been a piece of the puzzle to a much larger picture. I have been giving of myself in great ammounts to others and to the Universe. I need to focus on my own energy healing, and love myself back to health. It’s not always easy when I am usually very active and take care of everything in my family on my own and have trouble asking for help. It’s hard for my son to not understand why Mommy can’t play with him as much and why he can’t have piggy back rides. When I find myself looking to others to take care of me or expect them to have compassion for my pain, I remind myself that what I’m needing is a self love from within. Not everyone else is as compassionate as I am and not everyone else is going to take care of me when I am hurt or sick. It is up to me to heal myself and take this time to focus on the present and do what I can in each moment to nurture myself the way I nurture others. I am a very involved mother and have never spent any time away from my child since he was born over two years ago. It is difficult for me to ask for help because he is my little miracle boy and I feel so very responsible for nurturing and caring for him. My husband is very helpful with him and plays with him often and shows him love in every moment. I am lucky to have support, and I also am honored by the support and healing I’ve received from spirit. This experience has made me stop focusing my energy on others, and to really flow with the universe, because even though I don’t understand from my current consciousness, this is for my highest good, and I will evolve and grow from this. It’s not always easy to be vulnerable and accept that pain is a gift, teaching us that without it we wouldn’t know what it’s like to have perfect health. I’ve learned that I must love the pain, in all of it’s glory. For it is a sign from the universe to slow down and take care of myself, before caring for others. I accept this message and I’m grateful for this life experience. Listen to your body it is always sending you a message, and if you want more information on the signs your body is sending you check out Louise Hay’s Book “You can heal your life”. That book was life changing for me in my younger years. I wish you all many blessings on your journey.


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